


A Rose of Salt and Quartz

by voleuse



Category: Charité (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21841411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voleuse/pseuds/voleuse
Summary: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love.It isn't quite pining, in the traditional sense.
Relationships: Ida Lenze/Therese
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	A Rose of Salt and Quartz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elektra121](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elektra121/gifts).



> Set sometime after the third episode of the first series, but no specific spoilers.

_i. I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly_

When Therese looks out the window, Ida is in the courtyard, her face turned up to snow as it falls. The day hadn't been so cold, really, but the air had smelled like ice, like brightness. She had seen Ida gazing out the window, a flicker of hope as she looked at the silver-grey sky.

It is evening now, and Ida's face is limned by the light cast from the hospital windows. Therese leans against the windowsill, the glass chilling her heated skin. Ida's cap falls loose, and her hair is escaping from its bun. Therese catches her breath, considers how those locks might feel against her palm, twining around her fingers.

Then Ida looks up, sees her at the window. "Therese," she calls out. "It's lovely. You should join me."

Therese smiles and knows she shouldn't.

So she does.

_ii. I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries the light_

The matron set Therese to rolling bandages after dinner, preparing sets for surgeries that might come with the morning. Matron Martha, with a sniff, reminds Therese not to dawdle (as if, ever, Therese has dawdled at a task).

As Therese nods her head, Ida catches her eye. She crosses her eyes for a quick moment, and Therese fights not to smile. "Yes, ma'am," she assures the matron and with a slight tip of her head, she silently invites Ida to join her in the work.

Later, Therese has already started into the strips of linen when Ida ducks her head around the corner, twisting around as she backs into the room. Therese laughs at Ida's antics, then catches her breath as Ida settles on the bench next to her. She reaches across Therese to pull some of the bandages over. Heat washes over Therese even as Ida draws back, begins twisting the linen strips together ably.

For the next while, Ida regales her with the tale of assisting Doctor Behring with a surgery, a simple tumor removal, but one she hadn't seen before.

So they sit, chatting about nothing at all, one hushing the other when she laughs perhaps too loudly. The night grew ever-darker, but in the candle light, they were warm.

_iii. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where_

By chance, they both end up free for a day at the same time, and Ida convinces Therese to go into town with her. It's close to Christmas, and there are shop windows in which to peer, and carolers on every other corner. Stine comes out as well, but soon parts ways with them to meet her cousins for lunch. Therese splurges and buys a cup of chocolate for the both of them. Ida charms a student doctor into purchasing a pretzel for them, and then they dash off, giggling at the silly smile on his face as they leave.

Finally, they end up at a nigh-empty park. Through the trees, they see a few children tossing snowballs at each other, but otherwise they have the snow, the crystalline trees, and the wafting scent of slightly-burnt chestnuts to themselves. Ida hooks an arm through Therese's, and they stroll--amble, even--through the park like two grand ladies taking a constitutional.

Or.

For a few minutes, Therese allows herself to pretend. They are something more than friends, and this afternoon is an idyll from their everyday responsibilities. The color on Ida's cheeks isn't from the temperature, but from their proximity, and in only a moment, she'll draw closer and--

"It would be nice," Ida says, interrupting Therese's musings, "if this were more of our life, yes?"

Therese pauses mid-step and turns to face Ida more directly. "This?" Their arms stay linked, however, pulling them into not quite a huddle, not quite an embrace. "You mean chocolate, and escape from the matron," she teases.

"And," Ida says, and her breath is a warm puff against Therese's lips, and then they are even closer, and Therese is startled enough to gasp just as Ida leans forward and, yes, kisses her, as Therese had imagined, every morning and every afternoon since the first time this happened, in the corridor.

_iv. I love you directly without problems or pride_

They meet in the barn when Therese should be, really, at vespers. Ida, however, had whispered not-quite-something into Therese's ear, and Therese cried off of vespers, murmuring something about feeling a bit faint.

The barn smells pleasantly of milk and straw--a fair benefit, when the animals are used for scientific experiments. Therese finds Ida near the rabbit hutches, stroking the fur of a kit that hadn't grown large enough yet to be considered a proper specimen.

"I hardly ever come out here," Therese remarks, and Ida whirls around at her voice. Her hair has come undone, and Therese breathes deep as Ida draws close, steps into her arms and touches her lips to Therese's neck.

When they part, minutes later, Ida's eyelashes flutter as she catches her breath. "The staff has left for the evening," she said. "Do you have time to--"

Therese nods, her fingers already brushing against the buttons of Ida's collar.

_v. I am not nor are you_

This cannot last, Therese knows. Even putting aside Matron Martha's warnings of opprobium, Ida will likely leave Charite once her debts are paid. Perhaps she might stay on longer, if she could continue to listen in on lectures, but Therese knows it will be only so long before Ida's thirst for a medical career finally draws her away from Germany.

For now, though, for now. Therese will live for these fleeting moments. Of Ida's hand catching against hers as they pass in the hallway. Of the sound Ida makes when they are able to slip into the shadows together. Of the joy she feels when she meets Ida's gaze first thing in the morning, and the peace she feels as they bid each other good night.

From across the dinner table, she meets Ida's gaze. She can't help the smile that blooms in response. Ida glances at her lips, and Therese hopes she isn't blushing, as well.

For now, Therese thinks. For now, she will be content.

**Author's Note:**

> Title, summary, and headings adapted from Neruda's [Sonnet XVII](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49236/one-hundred-love-sonnets-xvii).


End file.
